Dad's Star
Billions of stars, shining so bright
In the dark, ink-coloured sky each night
Always present, though not always seen
Clouds covering the black, special dream.
One of those stars, a diamond, I know
Represents my Dad - shining, aglow
He passed away, February 2001
That was when the star watching begun.
The night of his death, planet Venus appeared
Bright, spectacular - and to it I neared
Drawn by its beauty, twinkling so clear
Significant, meaningful, of a Dad so dear.
Comfort was instant - just knowing he's there
Watching over us, showing his care
The star, it remained, for over a week
Giving peace, where needed, when time was bleak.
Blinking, colours, a spectrum of hue
In a vast expanse of night sky so blue
And Dad's star is more prominent of all
The blanket of the universe, how it does enthral.
I look to the heavens, every clear night
And the dot-to-dot wilderness is a beautiful sight
Even when clouds cover the picturesque view
I imagine Dad's star, because my mind sees it too.
My Mum
Mum
If you were to die
I haven't seen you
To say goodbye.
I can't see you now
As no one is allowed
Hospital tests
You're under a cloud.
If you had not seen
Your doctor today
You would already have been
Taken away.
What are you feeling?
As I sit here and write
Are you in pain?
Can you see a bright light?
Please don't die
You've too much to do
You're needed and loved
Yes - we all love you.
"She's in the best place"
Is what I've been told
But that's only words
When your world is on hold.
I love you Mum
Please, please don't go
I'll always look after you
This I promise you so.
Have a good rest now
Sleep - but awake
Fight this pain
If only for your sake.
Mum 1
19/04/1992
You gave me life
Many years ago
A little helpless baby
For you to watch grow
You changed the nappies
You fed me too
Got up through the night
You knew just what to do
I took my first steps
With you standing by
You encouraged me to say "Da-Da"
To hear it made you cry
I went through the school years
With mixed feelings and doubt
And with tears over my boyfriends
You were always there throughout
You are hear with me now
With the day to day life
When I'm ill - you are there
You're Mother, and housewife
I want to say, "You are the best"
In everything that you do
If I am ever a mother
I want to be just like you.
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Dad 1
Dad (1) 10/10/1991
I open my mouth, to speak out loud
It's my opinion - to say it - I'm proud.
With what I say, you don't agree
What do you do? You shout at me.
We always argue, we always shout
Is this what being a family is about?
No - I don't think so - it's just you and I
Every time it happens, I'm the one to cry.
I feel I'm a victim - in my own home
Being forced out - I feel so alone
I'll still speak my mind - that's the way that I am
I'm very stubborn - 'I don't give a damn.'
That's how it seems - oh yes, to you
But, you don't know me - yet you think that you do
But, you've never tried, to learn about me
Now it's too late - because you'll never, ever see.
Dad 2
Another argument
About anything we can find
I'm in my room again
Hatred on my mind.
You're always right
Well, you think so
But you're not
I know.
I love you Dad
But I'll never say
We're too much alike
More so everyday.
You're making me ill
I doubt if you care
You only love yourself
For me, your heart is bare.
I'm tired of this
Every single day
I've got to get out
Got to get away.
When I'm gone
Wait and see
You'll think and you'll worry
But you'll never tell me.
Have you ever thought
That you're stubborn too?
I'm a mirror image
Because I'm just like you.
Babies of mine
You were never born into this world.
However, that's not to say I didn't love you - I still do.
1997 and 1999 - both conceived February - two years apart - exactly.
Ironically, you both died at 8 weeks into my two pregnancies.
And I so grieved for you - both of you.
I think it was even worse the second time.
I grieved for the first all over again - the loss was unbearable.
Was it something I did? Why did you both die?
I'm a spiritual person - In so many ways
And have been to see many clairvoyants in my lifetime.
Several have told me that you were both girls.
That my Nan is looking after you both - as you grow up in the spirit world.
I think of you both frequently - Thinking of the ages you'd both be now.
What you would look like, what you would wear?
What things you'd like to do, the colour of your hair.
Would you be stubborn, shy, or extrovert?
Would you be creative, sensitive - maybe tomboys?
Would you look like me? Be similar to me in your ways?
As you know, I'm no longer with your Dad.
I know you watch over me - and you see it all.
You saw how he treated me - the mental and physical violence.
You were best off not being a part of that situation.
He may have turned on you, my lovely girls.
And you know, although I took the violence that he dealt me
I would have killed him if he had harmed either of you.
You would have loved Peter - my wonderful Husband now.
He would have treated you as he treats me - with love and respect.
It must be hard for him to listen when I talk about you both
Another man fathered you - (if that's what you can call your dad)
But, he would love you as his own, had you been here with us, in our world.
I just wanted to tell you both that I still think of you - often.
You're not forgotten - just because you are not here physically.
You probably already know, but it's always nice to be told that you are loved.
Don't give your Great-Nanny too hard a time, girls!
She'll tell you off, and be cross with you both!
I know, from personal experience, when I was your age!
I also know that her heart will swell with pride when she looks at you both.
Say 'hello' to her, my Dad too, give them a hug and a kiss from me.
There are so many others - your family - you must have met up with them.
Say 'hello' to everyone - and I hope you will all meet me when I arrive there.
There is no time, not where you are. So however long it takes me
I will see you, my daughters, when it is my time. You'll know when that is.
This was meant to be a poem for you both, but it's turned into a letter!
But just expressing myself, to you both, like this, has helped me feel better.
(See, some of it rhymes!!) - God Bless Girls. Lots of love from Mummy xxxx
Parting
I watched you go
You did not cry
I held your hand
As we said goodbye
You closed your eyes
Took your last breath
Your pain was all over
As you welcomed death
I cried for you
Now the pain is in me
My broken heart
Will never be free
Another day passes
My life goes on by
I think of your memory
As I sit here and cry
I remember the good times
There were many we shared
And I always knew
That forever you cared
In time you grew weaker
And I cared for you
I promised I would be there
When the moments became few
I did it for love
Is all that I can say
Your life has gone
Death has taken you away
I will carry your memory
Right here in my heart
Until the time comes
That I too must part
Nan
19/09/1991
Your birthday has come once again
Another year has passed
One more chapter in your life
It's all gone by so fast.
So now, you're seventy-seven
A very grand old age
Your book of life goes on
Another year - another page.
We know you don't like birthdays
You say you've had a few
But smile - look to the future
Each day brings something new.
Each night you pray for all of us
That no harm to us will come
We want to say; "We love you"
To our special Great-Nan, Nan & Mum.
Go on - enjoy your birthday
Have a really good ole time
We all want you to celebrate
With a glass of lemon & lime!!
Thanks for being a special lady
You are better than the rest
We all love you so very much
To us, you are the best.
"Happy Birthday Nan!"
Susan
19/04/1992
By blood we are sisters
By actions, we are not
Any feelings we might have shared
Were soon to be forgot.
You turned your back on us
For which, I cannot forgive
Your Husband's family is your life
Is that REALLY how you want to live?
Time progressed
And five years passed
You missed out on many things
When did you chat with me last?
Sisters should be close
It's what the definition says
I'm closer to my dog than to you
We understand each-others ways.
I wish I had a brother
All my life I have thought this
He would protect me against harm
We'd fight - then he'd give me a kiss.
You don't know what you're missing
By turning your back on me
Susan - it's your loss
Maybe in time you will see.
But don't think you will change things
I'll always remember what you did
I may think of you, and have feelings too
But I've shut them away, in a box with a lid
For my Sister, Susan
I felt inspired to write this poem
Because I had to let you know
That I will always love you
Though it doesn't always show.
An eight-year gap separates us
That seems an awful lot
But now that we're both older
I can see now what we've got.
We are there for one another
For everything, good or bad
We've grown to like one another
For that, I'm truly glad.
When I was born, you were eight
Time passed, but we didn't much get on
You and I were so different
Your approval, I never won.
I threw your doll out the window
So you put a lock on your door
You started work when I was seven
And the wedge between us was driven in more.
You married when I was just fifteen
I was Chief Bridesmaid to Steve and you
I was immature, said stupid things
And our distance, yes it grew.
We hardly ever did things together
Over years as they did pass
We were polite to one another
Would this distance always last?
I married when I was twenty-nine
To a man who was oh so wrong
The marriage failed with in six months
To the violence, I was not strong.
You all knew that he was wrong for me
Would I listen? - Not a chance
I thought that he would be okay
But shouldn't have given him a second glance.
I lived alone, and saw you rarely
But occasionally we spoke on the phone
You had your life and I had mine
But without my Sister, I was so alone.
I married for the second time
Just after our Dad died
The feelings and emotions then
Were like on a roller coaster ride.
But something came form our Dad's death
Something he had always wanted
You and I started to become closer
Dad would have been high hearted.
It's happened very gradually
And we still fell out on the way
Eventually we all talked it through
Took several hours one day.
We've got together as a foursome
You, Steve, Peter and me
And shared pleasant hours between us
Dad would be oh so happy.
I'm glad we're growing closer still
And we talk about all things
To be there for one another
Discussing what life brings.
Thanks for being my sister
What with everything we've been through
We seem to have stood the test of time
And I'm glad that you are you.
Would I go back to change things?
Probably, quite a few
I've made mistakes along the way
But I would never change you.
So this is a dedication
A poem just for you
I'm glad that you're my Sister
And I really love you, Sue.
Lots of love from your Sister, Jo
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Oh!, What a Joy!
Our neighbour's name is Joy
And what an appropriate name
She's lovely, kind and helpful
A true lady - yes, a dame.
We have so much in common
And we get on really well
A blossoming long-term friendship
Of this you can really tell.
We've been neighbours just a short while
But in that time I have seen
What a wonderful person - Joy
To all folk, she has been.
I could pop next door for a cuppa
Any time I'm feeling low
We would sit and talk a while
And my sad mood soon would go.
She always has a kind word
And really cheers my day
She tells me how nice I look;
These little things go a long way.
Lets hope we will be neighbours
For a long time yet to come
And as our friendship deepens
We'll have a lot more fun.
So what better day to say this
On this - her birthday
Joy, you are a true delight
In every single way.
For Pete Withers
Now, Pete, he is a walking man
He likes to roam and hike
He's also active in other ways
Including cycling on his bike.
He's also fond of model trains
Building a railway in his attic
With his HO gauge, he's the stationmaster
Oh yes - it's very dramatic!
He's kindness itself, oh yes, is Pete
He will always help anyone out
Friends, family or neighbours
Whoever gives him a shout.
He loves to feed the wild birds
They visit all year round
All colours, shapes and sizes
Pete's tended them fondly, you've found.
He also enjoys doing the gardening
And is rather green-fingered, it's true
A lovely display, of plants, he'll create
Making you feel it was done just for you
He likes to sit and read a book
Especially one that makes him smile
He'll become so absorbed in its content
And forget where he is, for a while!
He also likes rare books, you know
Which feature Bristol, of old
He has a splendid collection himself
Worth a pretty penny, I'm told!
We're glad that he's our neighbour
And that we all get on so well
Some neighbours are a nightmare
Making lives a living hell!
But, oh, not Pete
He's wonderful! It is so!
Kind, thoughtful and genuine
A true pleasure, yes, to know.
Catherine Wither's Poem
Catherine Withers was born in Bristol, to parents Joy & Pete
And as she grew, she turned into, a child so kind and sweet.
Time passed some more, and then before you knew it, she was older
Her journey throughout school and such, made her character much bolder.
Encouraged on, she progressed through life, with job training along the way
Reaching a stage, where promotion was made, to Catherine, one day.
In time, you'll see, the head she will be, whatever her chosen career
Nothing better, for this go-getter, who people love so dear.
Enjoying swimming and badminton too, and listening to Enya and such
With a collection of Camberwick Green characters - enjoyed very much.
In a case, they display, a wonderful array - of detail and colour so fine
These are her pride and joy - a grand collection built up over time.
Her favourite foods are chinese and curry - whilst watching something funny
Enjoying holidays - with a bit of culture and maybe somewhere sunny.
Right now, she's really enjoying life - and she's happy as she is
So, to you Catherine - know we all love you - and don't ever lose your fizz!
